What is it? Such an intangible concept. Abstractly messing with my mind. Is it really that simple? Belief in something. That’s it. Faith in God I get, but sowing seeds of faith?
I mentioned this to JD and he suggested I read Hebrews 11. While that was awesome, it just made me wonder so much more. Who is this God I love? The more I seek, the bigger He seems. The more I cling to him, the more it seems there is to hold on to. It’s such a good thing. But it is also confusing. I feel like I’m missing out on something, that the Instruction Manual was passed out but I missed it. Which is so silly, because A-the Bible is the manual, and B-the only thing that matters is my relationship with God. Not anyone else’s.
Still my mind continues to wonder and wander. There’s just that little part of me that wonders if I’m doing things right. Keep pushing in, keep moving forward. I’m finding out first hand how incredibly important it is to daily read the word and spend time with God. It only takes one day of not doing it, and the spiritual malaise, the indifference begins to set in.
Right now, faith is choosing to believe something that God has set in my heart. Something that takes a lot of God and none of me to believe, because if I was alone in this, it wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. And choosing every single day to believe that God fulfills his promises and blesses his faithful. Why is that hard? It should be easy. It’s such a good thing! And God is such a good God! Yet most days I feel like a soldier, and I feel battle-worn. Still, I know what I fight for! Keeping the heart set on that is the most important thing. So that’s what I do, even if I really don’t want to some days. I choose to believe, I choose to read the Bible and seek God. It’s the desire to know God, to want good from him and for him that drives me.